Through A Glass Darkly
Christmastime's come again.
Yep. Seems like it gets here earlier every year.
Yeah, right after Halloween's over we skip right to yuletide cheer.
It's a shame.
In some ways.
Like which?
Like the excessive commercialization of it. The materialism.
It's true.
People go crazy for stuff that doesn't matter.
They'll kill people for a frickin cabbage patch doll.
It's just greed. Just empty and vapid. And advertisers prey on it.
Is it really that different from any other time, though?
Maybe not.
It's practically woven into the fabric of society. Not practically--it is.
But it's a perversion of something sacred.
Sure.
To me it is.
If by sacred you mean pagan rituals for the winter solstice, then yes.
That's not all there is to it.
Then tell me what decorated pine trees and mistletoe have to do with Jesus.
They're weird traditions but they're harmless.
It's called cultural appropriation.
I know what it is.
Alright then.
Maybe we shouldn't be taking about this.
Hey, you brought it up.
We've been through this before. I know where you stand, you know where I stand.
But we can both agree it has its problems, right?
Yeah, I just don't think you can see passed them.
I can. I do. The idea of generosity. Good will toward men and all that.
Yeah?
They're great ideas. They're how we can advance as a species.
But they're not enough.
Not when nobody does them. I mean, they do sometimes. I do sometimes. But not as a way of life.
Some do.
They're the minority. Vast minority. The rest only do it in isolated instances. When you feel especially guilty.
You mean that's when you're generous. When you feel guilty.
A lot of the time not even then. And you're just the same.
I'm not.
Yes you are. When was the last time you really laid your life down? Really gave everything like your Christ told you?
There are many ways to give of yourself. And it's not the act that matters anyway. It's the heart behind it. If it has the love of God in it.
And yours does.
Yes. At my best I know it does.
How often is that?
Look, I struggle just like anyone else. I wrestle between what I know is right and what my sinful nature is.
Your sinful nature is just that. Nature. We're in agreement on that at least.
I just have something that covers and transforms it.
The love of God.
That's right.
Then tell me where that love is.
Well, it's in the hearts of those that accept it.
I don't see it anywhere.
It's there. You're just not looking hard enough.
I am looking. Don't give me your empty platitudes and mantras.
You got it figured out, don't you.
Where is that love when somebody gets cancer?
Come on.
Where is it in a universe so treacherous?
It's a fallen world. We made it that way.
No, He set the rock in motion. Not us. And He could change it anytime He wished.
There is good in this world.
Is there?
I believe there is.
No you don't. That's why you say you need a messiah.
He has redeemed mankind.
He's cursed mankind.
Don't say that.
There's a species of insect in Africa whose entire life cycle is to burrow into the eye sockets of children, lay eggs, and burst through. Why?
I don't know.
You say He is love but there's no evidence for it. And He has the gall to demand total worship and devotion.
What do you want me to say?
I don't want you to say anything.
I have to accept a lack of answers.
Does that satisfy you? To be in the dark?
Does it satisfy you?
No. But at least I don't have any illusions.
If you're gonna insult me...
I'm sorry.
We've been through all this before. I don't know if there's a point to it anymore.
Why not?
Because we always end up fighting. Because I can't get through to you.
I am what I am.
You're impossible.
I'm not gonna be jolly just because everyone demands it this time of year. It's not honest.
You should give it a shot some time. Might surprise you.
I've tried to believe. I've wanted to. I thought I did once but now I'm not so sure.
Faith isn't something you just take on and take off. It isn't fashion.
You're gonna tell me it's a relationship...
It is. I communicate with God daily. I feel Him, I pursue Him as He pursues me.
In the scriptures, after Jesus left, everyone acted like he'd be back any minute. They must've been disappointed.
They weren't.
Here we are two thousand years later. And He's still not here.
It's open to interpretation.
Nothing's changed. Not fundamentally. We're still in the same mire we've always been.
You're a real fun person to be around, you know that?
Sometimes I wish I wasn't like this. But I just can't. I can't. It weighs on me.
What does?
The darkness. The hypocrisy.
Maybe we're not so different.
No?
Maybe. Part of this season is being able to find common ground with your fellow man.
That's what they say.
It's hard. The hardest thing there is really. But it's not optional.
So what can you find in me, huh?
Brokenness.
Brokenness?
Our imperfection. We're fallen and the world is fallen. I'm no better than you. You're no worse than me. We're on the same plain.
But you are different to me, aren't you.
I'm covered, I'm redeemed. But I'm a sinner.
I don't think your pastor would agree.
He's not saying it. I am.
I guess I should be grateful.
Just wanted to let you know.
If only I could tell what difference it makes.
Maybe I'll wear you down someday.
Doubt it.
I'll remain hopeful.
Well, have a merry Christmas then. In this terrible world of ours.
Merry Christmas. Despite everything I still consider you a friend.
A friend.
That's right. We're brothers when it comes down to it. Whether we like it or not.
We are not brothers.
What is wrong with you? I'm trying to be kind. Just accept it for God's sake.
I don't...
There's no point in being this hostile. I just want some peace.
No.
Why not?
The world is evil. I'm evil. You're evil. And it's over. It's over.
What are you saying?
You know what I'm saying.
Fine, then. I'm done. I'd wish you happiness but I think you're incapable of experiencing it.
I'm not gonna say I'm sorry.
I know you won't. Neither will I.
Two depart. Alike and familiar yet divided inextricably. They are enemies entwined, like the same body turned against itself. A cold war wherein no victory or defeat can be possible, only the endless spar of friends on even keel separate and close. At Christ's birth, at the year's end.
Yep. Seems like it gets here earlier every year.
Yeah, right after Halloween's over we skip right to yuletide cheer.
It's a shame.
In some ways.
Like which?
Like the excessive commercialization of it. The materialism.
It's true.
People go crazy for stuff that doesn't matter.
They'll kill people for a frickin cabbage patch doll.
It's just greed. Just empty and vapid. And advertisers prey on it.
Is it really that different from any other time, though?
Maybe not.
It's practically woven into the fabric of society. Not practically--it is.
But it's a perversion of something sacred.
Sure.
To me it is.
If by sacred you mean pagan rituals for the winter solstice, then yes.
That's not all there is to it.
Then tell me what decorated pine trees and mistletoe have to do with Jesus.
They're weird traditions but they're harmless.
It's called cultural appropriation.
I know what it is.
Alright then.
Maybe we shouldn't be taking about this.
Hey, you brought it up.
We've been through this before. I know where you stand, you know where I stand.
But we can both agree it has its problems, right?
Yeah, I just don't think you can see passed them.
I can. I do. The idea of generosity. Good will toward men and all that.
Yeah?
They're great ideas. They're how we can advance as a species.
But they're not enough.
Not when nobody does them. I mean, they do sometimes. I do sometimes. But not as a way of life.
Some do.
They're the minority. Vast minority. The rest only do it in isolated instances. When you feel especially guilty.
You mean that's when you're generous. When you feel guilty.
A lot of the time not even then. And you're just the same.
I'm not.
Yes you are. When was the last time you really laid your life down? Really gave everything like your Christ told you?
There are many ways to give of yourself. And it's not the act that matters anyway. It's the heart behind it. If it has the love of God in it.
And yours does.
Yes. At my best I know it does.
How often is that?
Look, I struggle just like anyone else. I wrestle between what I know is right and what my sinful nature is.
Your sinful nature is just that. Nature. We're in agreement on that at least.
I just have something that covers and transforms it.
The love of God.
That's right.
Then tell me where that love is.
Well, it's in the hearts of those that accept it.
I don't see it anywhere.
It's there. You're just not looking hard enough.
I am looking. Don't give me your empty platitudes and mantras.
You got it figured out, don't you.
Where is that love when somebody gets cancer?
Come on.
Where is it in a universe so treacherous?
It's a fallen world. We made it that way.
No, He set the rock in motion. Not us. And He could change it anytime He wished.
There is good in this world.
Is there?
I believe there is.
No you don't. That's why you say you need a messiah.
He has redeemed mankind.
He's cursed mankind.
Don't say that.
There's a species of insect in Africa whose entire life cycle is to burrow into the eye sockets of children, lay eggs, and burst through. Why?
I don't know.
You say He is love but there's no evidence for it. And He has the gall to demand total worship and devotion.
What do you want me to say?
I don't want you to say anything.
I have to accept a lack of answers.
Does that satisfy you? To be in the dark?
Does it satisfy you?
No. But at least I don't have any illusions.
If you're gonna insult me...
I'm sorry.
We've been through all this before. I don't know if there's a point to it anymore.
Why not?
Because we always end up fighting. Because I can't get through to you.
I am what I am.
You're impossible.
I'm not gonna be jolly just because everyone demands it this time of year. It's not honest.
You should give it a shot some time. Might surprise you.
I've tried to believe. I've wanted to. I thought I did once but now I'm not so sure.
Faith isn't something you just take on and take off. It isn't fashion.
You're gonna tell me it's a relationship...
It is. I communicate with God daily. I feel Him, I pursue Him as He pursues me.
In the scriptures, after Jesus left, everyone acted like he'd be back any minute. They must've been disappointed.
They weren't.
Here we are two thousand years later. And He's still not here.
It's open to interpretation.
Nothing's changed. Not fundamentally. We're still in the same mire we've always been.
You're a real fun person to be around, you know that?
Sometimes I wish I wasn't like this. But I just can't. I can't. It weighs on me.
What does?
The darkness. The hypocrisy.
Maybe we're not so different.
No?
Maybe. Part of this season is being able to find common ground with your fellow man.
That's what they say.
It's hard. The hardest thing there is really. But it's not optional.
So what can you find in me, huh?
Brokenness.
Brokenness?
Our imperfection. We're fallen and the world is fallen. I'm no better than you. You're no worse than me. We're on the same plain.
But you are different to me, aren't you.
I'm covered, I'm redeemed. But I'm a sinner.
I don't think your pastor would agree.
He's not saying it. I am.
I guess I should be grateful.
Just wanted to let you know.
If only I could tell what difference it makes.
Maybe I'll wear you down someday.
Doubt it.
I'll remain hopeful.
Well, have a merry Christmas then. In this terrible world of ours.
Merry Christmas. Despite everything I still consider you a friend.
A friend.
That's right. We're brothers when it comes down to it. Whether we like it or not.
We are not brothers.
What is wrong with you? I'm trying to be kind. Just accept it for God's sake.
I don't...
There's no point in being this hostile. I just want some peace.
No.
Why not?
The world is evil. I'm evil. You're evil. And it's over. It's over.
What are you saying?
You know what I'm saying.
Fine, then. I'm done. I'd wish you happiness but I think you're incapable of experiencing it.
I'm not gonna say I'm sorry.
I know you won't. Neither will I.
Two depart. Alike and familiar yet divided inextricably. They are enemies entwined, like the same body turned against itself. A cold war wherein no victory or defeat can be possible, only the endless spar of friends on even keel separate and close. At Christ's birth, at the year's end.
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